Category Archives: Work
I have number of posts I’ve been meaning to write, but never seem to get around to. Some of it’s business. Some of it is just feeling burnt out. But most of it is laziness, I admit. Sometimes though, I just have some thought in my head that I can’t seem to get out until I write down, even if the topic in question is trivial compared to other things that I mean to write.
Anyway, I was looking at my work schedule and something occurred to me that I hadn’t really thought about. My boyfriend and I work for the same company, and our manager does her best to make schedule arrangements that give us the same days off work. And that’s just great!
Now, I knew that having kids affects one’s work schedule. I wrote about that a little bit in my list of reasons to be childfree. But there was a new thought that I hadn’t considered before that involves having a partner, and how both of our schedules would need to be arranged.
Childcare is expensive, whether it’s a daycare dump or some private babysitter. It advises for parents who aren’t absolutely loaded to arrange their schedules in such a way as to minimize childcare costs. We’d have to arrange our schedules in such a way as to have someone home to watch the kid(s) as much as possible. Instead of making arrangements to try to have days off at the same time, we’d need to have alternating days off.
Effectively, this means that my partner and I couldn’t afford to see each other much. That’s pretty sad. No wonder parents grow apart.
As if kids didn’t put enough strain on relationships as it was.
As I write this, I have a lot on my mind. I realize that my life is about to undergo massive changes, and will never be the same. I joined the Army almost four years ago, with the intent of eventually moving back home while I went to school. Since I’ve fallen in love with my BF and Colorado, that plan has changed drastically. Not moving home means that I’ll be away from my support system of family and friends permanently, not just while I serve. It also means that I’ll be mostly on my own for finding a place to live, and for paying all of my bills. Well, not totally on my own, I’ll have my BF to help me here. But that’s actually a problem. What if it doesn’t work out? I realize that by staying here I’m taking a much bigger risk than I would be at home. The pressure is on to find a job that can pay my bills and still have the time and energy for school. As my BF reaches his ETS date, and as I go though the medboard process, I’m made very aware that we’re running out of time.
Still, I have reason to be optimistic. BF and I just got approved for a lovely townhome, and our job searches aren’t without prospect. But the thing that give me the most hope for my future is knowing that I can at least be certain that I will never have children. If you haven’t been following my blog, you might not know this, but I’m sterile. Oh, don’t feel sorry for me. I don’t. TRICARE paid good money to ensure my infertility. I had my tubal ligation earlier just this week. I have two small cuts in my body, I have some residual air in my abdomen, and I’m still bleeding somewhat, but I’m happy. I’m very happy.
Knowing that I’m sterile means knowing that for whatever other curves life throws at me, I have one thing I can count on. I will never have kids. I will never be burdened with the expense and sheer work that goes into raising a functional human being. I will never know the guilt of contributing to overpopulation. I can pursue the education and career of my choosing, without pregnancy or motherhood threatening it. I will save money as I won’t need to spend it on birth control, and I won’t have to worry about contraceptive failure. I can give my BF and future dog(s) the attention and peaceful home life that they deserve. Most of all, I get to keep my identity. I will never be re-named “Mommy.” I’m Julie. I get to stay that way and keep my life.
I’m looking forward to my life now. I’m planning to move in with my BF soon, and I’m hoping that we can be happy together for a long time. I’m looking forward to getting a dog and training it well, and taking it on adventures. I’m looking forward to camping, hiking, mountain biking, snowboarding, offroading. I’m looking forward to climbing each the Colorado 14-ers. I’m looking forward to visiting Japan some day. Some day I want to buy a house in the middle of nowhere with lots of land. Or maybe I’ll get an RV and travel instead. There are a lot of things that I want to do with my life, but mostly I just want my life to be my own. I want to be able to do what I want, when I want. Not having children protects my freedom to do so.
Some people have felt the need to tell me how I’ll regret not having children. Oh, don’t be jealous of me! The truth is, I’d regret having children.
Since my time in the Army will soon be ending, I find myself once again dealing with the delema of what to do with my life. Not knowing what I wanted to do for a carreer (as well as not having the funds for education anyway) is how I ended up in the Army in the first place.
Over the course of my life, I’ve had many dreams as to a career, many of which reflected my age.
- Age 5 – Hermit. I wanted to sleep in a tree-house in the woods and just live off the land.
- Age 7 – President. Some boy told me women couldn’t be president. Being a feminist even then, I told him he was full of doo-doo.
- Age 9 – Super Saiyan. Who needs money when you have the power to shake the planet just by looking serious and grunting?
- Age 11 – Soldier. Because I wanted to be a badass when I grew up.
- Age 13 – Rock Star. I’ve always loved rock music. Too bad I have no talent.
- Age 15 – Truck Driver. I had a bit of an unsocial phase…
- Age 17- Video Game Designer. Wouldn’t it be great if I could use my years spend indoors, controller in hand, neglecting school and having a social live, as work experience?
- Age 18 – ????????????????????????? Shit! The closer my graduation date got, the less I was sure.
- Age 19 – Anything but the Army. It wasn’t a great deployment.
- Age 22 – Teacher. I looked around me and saw nothing but idiots. I thought maybe I could do a better job than their teachers did.
I’ll be 23 by the time I’m out, and I honestly have no idea what kind of career I want. Much like I did late in high school, I found things to distract myself from thinking about it. I know, avoidance doesn’t help.
I’ve always loved dogs, and wish I could have one. Sadly, I can’t as I live in a barracks and would have little time for it because of work anyway. But, since I’ll be getting out soon, I’ve been thinking about getting one then. It would sure be nice to have four-legged hiking companion. So, in my free-time, I’ve been watching dog-training instructional videos on youtube. Even though I don’t have a dog yet, I really enjoyed most of the videos I’ve seen. Dog training looks fun the way the trainers demonstrated it. It’s my hope that when I do get a dog, I’ll be able to train it myself.
Then that got me to thinking… maybe I could get certified? If I could study dog training, I would be a better dog owner myself, but maybe I could become a professional dog trainer? Finally, a job I would enjoy!
I spent a portion of this week looking up certification schools and job placement opportunities, and even got to speak with some school counselors. The more I look into this, the more appealing I find it to be.
Finally, some optimism.