Category Archives: Twitter

Gun Control. Let’s Be Reasonable Adults

Some people freak out about the dumbest things. And when they do, I know I must be saying all the right things. If people are outraged by my words, then I have clearly found something that needs to be said. I have burst someone bubble, and rather than look at their own actions and views, they get defensive.

When a friend of mine, Antitheistangie, posted on twitter, advising motorists to be aware of motorcycles around them (I imagine she did so in the same vein as “look twice, save a life,”) she was surprised at the responses she received as a result. People were apparently incensed that they were actually expected to be responsible drivers. Apparently, it’s completely intolerable for Angie to interfere with anyone’s right to be an unsafe driver who endangers the lives of others.

Not long after that, a blog post written by another friend, Jessica Sideways, was beset by angry trolls because she had the sheer audacity to say that domestic abuse was not, in fact, any more funny than it was acceptable. Not only are men justified in beating women who anger them (seriously, someone responded with that,) but it was perfectly acceptable to mock victims of abuse, according to the respondents. And Jessica? Well,  she’s every unpleasant name you could possibly call a person and  deserved to be threatened with violence, and have her address made public (luckily, the troll used the wrong one,) for her “crime” of pointing out unacceptable, yet common, behavior.

Really, humanity? Really?

As for myself, despite being a veteran who knows my way around multiple weapons big and small, occasionally (although not recently) goes shooting recreationally, and has a few guns in my home (they’re my boyfriends, I don’t own any myself,) I am apparently an anti-gun “extremist” and “fanatic.” Why? Because I don’t join the Chicken Littles of the world who get hysterical over every single common sense gun-control measure, that’s why. The sky isn’t falling all over the second amendment if the state requires background checks and reasonable waiting periods. Nor are anyone’s rights to bear arms unduly infringed upon by not being able to use flash suppressors and armor-piercing rounds without having a very good, lawful reason.

When I was connecting my Amazon account to my iPhone today, it gave a number of pre-made security questions (I swear I’m going somewhere with this.). One of these questions was, “Where were you on New Year’s Eve, 2000?” Well, that’s easy to remember. I spent New Year’s in the hospital. Why? Because I’d been SHOT!

I was eleven years old, at the park late at night with my family and my best friend. We found a spot on the hill where we could see the Centennial Bridge on the Mississippi River, and laid down our blanket. I sat in my mother’s warm lap, as I had incorrectly thought that my sweater was an adequate substitute for a coat. We made a few jokes about Y2K and listened to some patriotic music on the radio as we waited for the show to start.

I only saw a few seconds of the fireworks display we’d been waiting for before I had to be rushed to the hospital, a bullet wound going all the way through my shoulder. My next few weeks were spent in a foster home. I’ll never forget that experience. I don’t think that anyone who suffers the pain of being shot, or of being wrongly removed from their family ever does.

All of this happened to me, to my family, because of a single idiot who I will never know. Somewhere, someone was celebrating the occasion the completely wrong way, by firing a gun up into the air. What comes up must come down, and the shooter might never know where the bullet will finally land, or who is hurt or even killed because of it. Hardly a New Year’s goes by where I don’t read a story in the paper about someone being injured or killed because of some irresponsible gunman’s celebratory fire. It’s sick, and irresponsible.

Will mandatory classes on local gun laws (like how it’s illegal to shoot within city limits) and gun safety (like DON’T SHOOT UP INTO THE DAMNED AIR!) prevent such shootings? Would it have prevented what happened to me? Maybe. Maybe not. But do such classes infringe on anyone’s right to own a gun? No. Hell, no one bats an eye about similar (actually, more prohibitive) requirements to get a driver’s license, and cars aren’t even intended to be weapons.

Yet people freak out while, ironically, accusing me of being the extremist. Frankly, the people who can’t be reasonable about gun control are exactly the kind of irresponsible, unstable idiots who shouldn’t touch firearms anyway.

If you’re not intelligent and responsible enough to understand the need for reasonable gun-control measures, then you aren’t the type of person who deserved to be trusted with a gun. having reasonable gun laws is not the same as banning guns. Calm the fuck down, people.

And you can take that from a rational, reasonable, and responsible person, trained in weapons use and safety. I don’t want to take guns away from anyone except those too unstable to own them.

I Really Shouldn’t Have To Say This…

I don’t have a problem with porn. I really don’t. Well, sure I have a problem with the objectification of others, but assuming the participants are willing, as are the viewers, it’s not my business. Sure, I don’t find porn appealing, personally. In fact, I find it downright repulsive. That’s enough reason for me not to look at it, but damned if I’ll tell another grown adult what they can and can not privately enjoy.

Earlier, on a childfree forum, a poster complained about her partner enjoying porn. It didn’t appear to be having an impact on the relationship, or to be a case of addiction, yet the poster demanded her partner cease viewing porn or she’d leave. I told her to grow up and stop inventing problems.

Coincidentally, on Twitter today, while doing a search on the word “childfree” I came across the tweet of one nasty individual. The tweet itself was fine, and only came to my attention because it contained the word “childfree.” It was the avatar that was the problem – a neck-down shot of a woman in her panties with her breasts fully exposed and flopped over something white worn around the waist. The user, it turns out, frequently posts pornographic images of herself. On her bio, she writes:

I post pics & write dirty little stories fantasy and real life adventures! Check out my blog for a taste….Oh and I’m funny too! NSFW 18+

So, the image is intentionally pornographic.

“You may not use obscene or pornographic images in either your profile picture or user background.” – Twitter Terms of Service

Despite writing NSFW 18+ on her bio (likely referring to her blog,) she cares little for who she exposes herself to on twitter. Really, if you’re going to blatantly violate Twitter’s rules on pornographic images, you could at least make your tweets private so innocent people (who may be at work or under 18) who happen do do a search on the word childfree aren’t forced to see such images against their will. This is really little different from men who flash their penises at strangers on the street.

Naturally, I reported her. Apparently, this makes me “crazy,” “uptight,” on a “witch hunt.” She even had the gall to accuse me of harassment, which is ironic considering her anti-social and abusive behavior in exposing herself to others against their will.

Pornography is fine to view or participate in in private. But when it comes to forcing it upon others, that crosses the line. Just as anyone has the freedom to enjoy porn in private, I should have the freedom to not be forced to see it when I don’t want to.

As this person kept tweeting at me, she wrote something monumentally stupid (even in comparison to other things she wrote.)

I’m also sure many a museum would be offended by the statement that a topless woman is pornography.

#$#%$#%#$%#$%#$%#%@%#$%@!!!!

Nude art and pornography are NOT the same thing. Anyone who needs to be told that is a fucking moron.

Not the fucking same.

Note: The picture on the right is not the one the offending person on Twitter posted. This one in an actual model and not just some loser with no life who exposes herself to strangers in inappropriate forums.

To that user, if you want to post porn, do it on a site that allows that and/or on your own site. It is not fair to expose yourself to unsuspecting people.

And no one wants to see your ugly, floppy tits anyway.

Child-Free Restaurants

Edit: I had to go though and fix spelling errors and explain some things a bit. I’m not the best writer in the world, but apparently my grasp on the English language goes out the window when I’m in rant mode. 

I was going to stop posting here about being childfree for bit so that I could focus on other things. I was going to write more about hiking on this blog, as well as write a few posts for my pro-choice blog, The Golden Coat Hanger. That’s what I was going to do. But now I just have to rant about something.

Last night, after purchasing some nice furniture thrift shop for the town-home we move in to next week, my BF and I decided to celebrate by going to dinner. Well, first we went to the dollar store to pick up some pencils. I never saw the damned thing little darling snowflake, but there was some toddler in the store that would just not stop screaming. It was this ear-raping shriek, the kind that instantly replaced any other thoughts you might have been having at the time with the word “FUCK!” This went on the entire time we were in the store. It just kept screaming and there was no escape from it.

I’m not one of those people that just can not stand kids in general (although I certainly understand where such people are coming from) and I don’t mind having well behaved kids in my general vicinity, or even interacting with them. Anyone whose been following this blog knows that I’ve volunteered at special events for kids before, and have even quite enjoyed it. One of my favorite people is a mother, and her child is a delight and I try to bring something for him whenever I visit. But no matter what age someone is, I have very little patience for unacceptable behavior. Screaming, running, and climbing on things when not at a playground, but in a store or restaurant is not acceptable for anyone and kids are not an exception. Yes, kids will be kids. It’s not the kids who do this that I direct my anger at, it’s the parents who allow it and don’t do anything about it like remove the child if it’s too young to be controlled or otherwise can not be reasoned with. Normally, I see such displays of ineffectual parenting very rarely, but that day… well, let’s just say that if there was any chance of me regretting my recent tubal ligation and ever considering reversal, IVF, or adoption,  it was throughout dead by the end of the evening. Things went from irritating at the store, to downright unbearable when we actually went to eat.

By the time we made it to the restaurant, we were already sick of screaming kids. Sadly, it got worse. We didn’t know this at the time, else we would have never picked the place, but it was “kids eat free day” (read: “hell”)  so the place was PACKED! We had to wait 20 minutes just to be seated. The waiting area was full and filthy. At this restaurant, there were free peanuts, and since not everyone is civilized, the floor was covered in peanut shells. It looked like animals lived there. It was a mess! I saw some toddler jumping around stopping on the shells with an irritating crack each time, crushing the shells into powder. I watched her dad, waiting to see if he’d do anything about it. She looked up at him, he looked down at her, and then he threw a handful of peanut shells on the ground for her to stomp. Nice, asshole. That bit of parenting fail was only a small taste of what was in store for us.

Finally, we got called to be seated, but to get there we had to get past a huge crowd. For some reason, there was a man making balloon animals, something I’ve never seen since I started going to that place. It wouldn’t have been so bad if people understood the words “excuse me.” Well, maybe they just couldn’t hear me. It was loud. I do not exaggerate, my boyfriend and I had to shout across the table just to hear each other. Most of the tables contained children, and they were all screaming. Constantly. The entire time. Why? I have no idea! I felt like I was at fucking Chuck-E-Cheese, not a nice (although admittedly less than 5-star) steakhouse.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, it just had to be everyone’s birthday. What a coincidence. So now the only thing breaking up the sound of constant screaming was even more irritating clapping and singing. The wait staff was running around trying to serve everyone, because every table was full and the place was mad busy, but of course the entire staff or the restaurant has time to go around singing to everyone. I wonder how many people actually had birthdays and how many were just lying so they could get free desert and attention on top of free meals.

By the time we got our food, we just wanted to leave. If there was ever a doubt in my mind about living childfree, today cured it. It was a horrible experience at what is normally a decent place. I felt like I was at fucking Chuck-E-Cheese. There was no sense asking for a table to be quiet, or ask the management to keep order, since the entire place was a total zoo. Being kids eat free day, that’s to be expected, I suppose. Although the parents clearly couldn’t be bothered to actually, you know, parent, one might say that it was even partially my own fault for being in a place that pandered to kids. Truthfully though, since there are so few places that don’t, that much is hard for me to avoid. I would have loved to have been able to leave and go somewhere that I knew would not have any young children at all, but alas, no such place exists near me that isn’t a dive bar.

I brought this up, because it’s relevant to a twitter conversation I had last week. To keep myself occupied during a 24-hour CQ shift, I spent most of the day and night using my Blackberry to post on twitter. Everything was fine, until a single-mother started trolling the childfree hashtag, calling childfree people child-haters. When I asked her to explain her accusation, she brought up child-free restaurants.

I can’t think of anyone with working eardrums who has never wished for an eatery with an age requirement while at a Denny’s full of loud, out-of control children running around while their parents did nothing about it, apparently mistaking the restaurant for a day-care. It’s distracting, dangerous, degrades the quality of the establishment, and hurts business.

For this reason, a few restaurant owners have implemented policies such as making customers with screaming kids leave, to outright banning kids under certain ages (usually between six and ten.)

I pointed out that it was business owners, not the childfree people that she was scapegoating, who did this. Not all places are age appropriate for young kids. When asked who got to decide that, I said the restaurant owners, of course. Restaurants are PRIVATE property, and being such, the owners get to make any reasonable restrictions that they like.

The fact that restaurant owners feel a need to ban young kids does not reflect well on parents. If it weren’t for inept parents unable to distinguish which establishments were and weren’t appropriate for kids, and were unable or unwilling to control their kids’ behavior, no restaurant owner would feel the need to resort to this.

From what I’ve seen, restaurants which impose such measures see an increase in business. It’s not just childfree people who appreciate the more peaceful eateries. Even parents like to be away from the disturbances of children for a while. Even the restaurant owners are usually parents themselves. In fact, such places may be called child-free (even if they do allow older kids,) but besides that label, they don’t actually have anything much to do with the decision to be a childfree person (one who does not and never plans to have kids.) Too bad such establishments are so rare that when one makes such rules, it’s considered news-worthy and controversial.

Sadly, if you don’t affirm that children have a special place in society, you’re not validating the privileged position that some parents think they ought to have for having bred. For my failure to adequately revere children and the people who make them as special classes of people, above the rules of social behavior, and for my support of the rights of private business owners, and for wanting one place where I wouldn’t have to deal with a family circus, I was branded a child-hater. I wasn’t aware that liking kids and liking to eat in peace had to be mutually exclusive. Never-mind the fact that I don’t hate kids and that was just a baseless accusation intended to silence me. Before long, an all out twitter-war engulfed the childfree tag. Well, at least it kept me awake through my shift.

At one point, a mother demanded to know how certain restaurants banning young kids benefited kids. She was so child-obsessed that she couldn’t even comprehend that the matter wasn’t about benefiting kids. I could well have argued that kids are benefited by not being dragged to restaurants they’re just too young for by parents who can’t seem to cut the umbilical chord. Kids will be kids and it’s selfish of the parent and unfair to the child put them in a position they don’t have enough control to behave appropriately in. I could have argued that, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that it was unfair to other paying customers.

At one point, one angry sanctimonious mother after jumping into one of my conversations and berating me for my desire to get what I pay for, rage-quit telling me “Julie, instead of acting the angry victim- go elsewhere. Plenty of childfree places to eat.” No, there aren’t. That’s the point. Apparently, she was so sure that she was right that she couldn’t be bothered to remember what she was arguing about. I guess she forgot that her outrage towards me was in response to my statement that I think child-free restaurants should be allowed to exist and not that I was trying to ban kids from Denny’s (because I’m not trying to get kids banned from anywhere.) I would love to have nice place to eat in peace every once in a while, where I don’t have to cringe as infants scream next to me, where I don’t have to wonder what would go down if I dared to “shush” anyone. But sadly, when ever a restaurant makes such rules, despite having no shortage of kid-catering places to go to, the child-worshipers flip the fuck out like the evil childfree minions just blew up a McDonald’s playplace.

Countdown To Tubal: Envy?

My tubal ligation is tomorrow!

On Twitter, a childfree person, whose name I shall not share, posted a tweet that caught my attention. “Today I’m reminded what I’m missing out on by not having kids.” I thought that phrasing her feelings that way were an invitation for bingos, but it’s up to her how she feels. Not everyone is childfree for the same reasons, I understand, because not everyone feels the same way about parenting. As she explained later, she definitely doesn’t want to have children, but thinks that certain aspects of parenthood “rock.” She explained that she was choosing one good thing over another.

Hover, in that first tweet, she included the phrase, “Amazes me so many #Childfree claim there’s *nothing* about parenthood to envy.” This was an awkward statement, and is probably what caused so many people in the childfree tag to reply with tweets which she described as defensive. I explained to her that this line is probably the reason. It’s perfectly OK for her to feel however she feels about parenthood, but in that last line, she dragged all childfree people into it like we’re all supposed to envy what she envies.

This blog post isn’t a response to the tweeter. I’m taking the idea of childfree people secretly envying parents or feeling as if we are missing out as a writing prompt, especially since I’ve seen similar ideas in bingos and in outright attacks on CF people. As is the case with the tweeter, some people may feel that way, as they weigh one option against another and decide what’s best for themselves. There’s certainly nothing wrong with that, as long as she only speaks for herself.

However, not all childfree people feel as that tweeter does at all. I’d even venture to say that she’s probably a minority. I for one don’t feel as though I’m missing out on anything that I’d ever want, and there’s absolutely noting about parenting that I find even remotely enviable. I’ve never wanted to be a parent, not even a little bit, not even for a moment.

I didn’t even feel like I had to weigh pros and cons, as I already knew what I did and didn’t want. But as a writing project, I did it anyway. I came up with 100 reasons I never want kids, 99 of which were rendered irrelevant as #100, simply having no desire to have kids, was more than enough on its own. I tried making a list of good reasons that I should have kids, pros to parenting. After staring at my screen for ages, I couldn’t think of a single one.

I’ll say it again, I could not, after genuine effort, think of even one single good reason I should have kids. Not one! The only reason I could think of to have kids, wasn’t a reason at all. In fact, it was a downright horrible pressure to have kids and, sadly, one that some people really do buy into. It was because that’s what people say we should do. It’s what’s expected of us, especially us women. That is not a good reason to do anything, let alone create a whole new person.

There is not one thing about parenting that I would like. There is not one thing about parenting that would benefit me or anyone else. Being a parent, I’m sure, would only harm me and ruin the life that I work so hard to establish for myself. Even if parenting wouldn’t be a complete disaster for myself and anyone else involved, as I’m sure it would be, certainly nothing good could come of it.

What I’m missing out on, I’m glad I’m missing out on. Life is difficult and stressful enough without having needy dependents which I would surely resent. There’s nothing about parenthood that I envy, or think “rocks.” In fact, I can’t help but feel pity for parents, even if they do not feel that way themselves. Every time someone I know happily announces she’s pregnant, I’m made to feel obligated to congratulate her, but even as I do, I feel very sorry for her. Maybe someone reading this will think that unkind, but I really can not help but see parenting as a very sad thing.

Sufficed to say, I want absolutely no part in such a life. I have no doubt in my mind that having my tubal ligation tomorrow is the best decision I’ve ever made, and one I could never regret in the slightest.

Troll-Mail

Now, I’ve gotten a lot of hate mail from various places. Most of it has been on my YouTube channel, back when I was more actively posting, and some has been on my pro-choice blog. I guess that is to be expected. I can’t say that I really mind. I don’t care much what other people, especially anti-choice misogynists (same thing, really) think of me. Besides, it makes for some amusing blog fodder.

Feeling much the same way as a dog-owner does when she discovers a “present” in her living room with her foot, I found this pile of dog shit on the About section of this blog. It’s from yet another anti, of course. This is one that’s been pestering me for some time on Twitter, apparently believing that his mindless rants about imaginary babies and equally imaginary gods are totally unique (and not the same crap I’ve seen a million times) and will convince me that women are, as he believes, nothing more than breeding machines rather than full human beings whose lives matter.

Thank You for not having children…

It’s so amazing how I can be thanked for not having something I’ve never wanted to begin with. What’s even more amazing is that this anti apparently doesn’t see the irony of him saying this, seeing as he’s a member of the group of  people who deceptively call themselves “prolife” (or, as I like to call them, misogynist scum) and makes it his business to force people to have babies against their will.

If that is your attitude towards them, then you are helping the world by not reproducing! (NOT ment in a hateful manner)

If what is my attitude towards children? I’ll point out now that this comment doesn’t seem to be a clear response to anything. It’s just a comment on my About page, where my only mentions of children have been stating that I don’t have or want them. I don’t see how stating that I don’t have and will never have children is expressing an attitude towards children. I was stating a fact about myself, not an opinion about others. If this is meant to be a response to something I’ve said elsewhere, it’s not clear what.

He is right about one thing. I am helping the world by not reproducing. Everyone who knows better than to reproduce and doesn’t do so is helping the world. If only fewer people would reproduce, this world would be a much better place. I wonder how this anti reconciles this fact with his obsessive need to control women by forcing us to carry unwanted pregnancies?

Because the God that you deny exists still loves you very much…Really!

I stress that I haven’t cut anything out of this antis comment. The statement about me helping the world by not breeding is immediately followed by the above line. I am helping the world by not reproducing because god loves me. Never-mind that god isn’t even real, how the fuck does that sentence even make any sense?! Besides that, the grammar-Nazi in me wants to scream that this isn’t even a complete sentence. Because the god that I deny exists and loves me very much… what?

Oh, and which god that I deny are you talking about, delusional misogynist? I don’t just deny your god, but every god. I deny each of them for the exact same reasons. Take your imaginary friend and shove it.

Have a blessed life!

If bigots like you would stay out of it, I would!

P.S. Who created the outdoors that you love so much? Yes, it was God, Because He Loves You!!!

No one. The outdoors aren’t created. The planet and the life that later appeared on it are results of natural processes, which involve no “who,” especially not your imaginary who.  I won’t degrade the majesty of nature by wrongfully crediting its existence to your imaginary friend, rather than standing in awe of the natural geological and biological processes spanning billions of years coming together to form the breathtaking environments I so adore. As Douglas Adams once said, “Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”

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