About

I’m just a girl who loves the outdoors, Colorado, video games, my dog, and my boyfriend (in no particular order.)

I’m interested in a lot of different things, and so this is my (mostly) non-political, personal blog for me to rant and rave about the goings on of my life, or whatever I want. Mostly, I write this blog as a diary, and use it to explore topics of interest to me like reproductive rights, living childfree, secularism, various topics related to humanism, exploring the outdoors, my dog Molly, whatever else might be on my mind that I just needs to write down. (so, a lot of things, really.)

This isn’t my only blog, I’m also active on The Golden Coat Hanger, a pro-choice blog. Some posts may appear in both locations, if relevant.

What can I say? I joined the Army at the age 0f 18, wherein my MOS was 15W, UAV Operator (I flew the Shadow,) and I am currently in the process of getting out on a medical discharge. I currently live with my boyfriend, who also served. Instead of child-proofing our home, as some young couples do, we decided to childproof ourselves. As my BF and I are both happily Childfree, I had a tubal ligation, coincidentally, on World Population Day. Getting fixed is no easy task at 22 when you have no kids.

I’m an atheist, and, contrary to how some religious fundies like to act, although I’m not perfect I consider myself a moral person. I’m good without god, just like everyone can be good without god. I’m moral not despite my atheism, but more because of it.  Being a decent human being, I’m liberal, LGBTQA-friendly, prochoice, and do try to be somewhat green.

Since I’m planning on staying in Colorado for quite some time (I’ve fallen in love with the state) I intend to make the best of the outdoor activities available. Hiking, biking, snowboarding and so on. I’ve been having a lot of fun. I’ve made it my goal to climb Pike’s Peak next summer. I realize that it’s not exactly Everest, but it’s still intimidating. Eventually, I’ll hit up all of the Colorado 14ers.

  1. Hi Julie,

    I’m a reporter working on a story about women’s freedom to choose tubal ligation. I would love to talk to you for the article. Can you please get in touch with me? You can reach me here at (e-mail address removed by admin to protect commenter’s privacy – Julie) I look forward to talking.

    Best,
    Pamela

  2. Dale (Sailor Dale from Twitter)

    Thank You for not having children…If that is your attitude towards them, then you are helping the world by not reproducing! (NOT ment in a hateful manner)

    Because the God that you deny exists still loves you very much…Really!
    Have a blessed life!
    P.S. Who created the outdoors that you love so much? Yes, it was God, Because He Loves You!!!

    • Julie Was Here

      If only fewer people would reproduce, the world would be a better place.

      The outdoors weren’t created, let alone by a who, let alone by your imaginary who.

    • freddie jackson

      bitch u dumb

      • Julie Was Here

        I believe that should be written, “Bitch, you are dumb.”
        So, you think I’m dumb, huh? Well, at least I would pass a basic English class.

        • Pretty funny. Before criticizing others, you might want to fix the grammatical and punctuation errors in the following:

          “People who feel the need to write the word “truth” with a capital “T,” when not grammatically necessary, aren’t actually talking about truth, but dogma they want you to believe is truth.”

          • Julie Was Here

            I surely would if there were any. Why don’t you tell me where I’m wrong?

            If there are some errors, then they aren’t any that are immediately obvious. I don’t think any typo on my part, or inaccurate “correction” on my computer’s part really compares to the intentional butchery of the English language of writing “bitch u dumb.” At least I use actual words and form complete sentences.

            By the way, I noticed you wrote “Pretty funny. Before criticizing others, you might want to fix the grammatical and punctuation errors in the following:” I hope you’re aware of the irony of that statment, considering it contains one incomplete sentence, and your name, Ben, is a proper noun.

            I still down’t put you in the same category as Freddie, but, the way I see it, your errors are not far off from the ones you halfheartedly criticize me for.

    • Denise Smith

      Well, don’t you have all the answers. You are an asshole. Have a nice day.

  3. hi julie, i found your blog through a childfree discussion board. i think we share at least the same two things: childfreedom and love of outdoor activities.
    can i link to your blog? mine is nekomimigami.wordpress.com

  4. Hi, Julie – I’d love to send you an email, if I could. You can reach me at (edit for privacy – julie)

    • I don’t mean to sound disrespectful or ayinhtng but it seems kinda young to me as well (not that my opinion is that relevant). A couple of observations 1. The study you quote is only part of the data. The study didn’t include those who sought sterilization and ended up NOT having it who turned out to be very glad they didn’t. The 7% tells only part of the story. It should also be an age adjusted study. I’m guessing the regret’ rates were directly related to the age at which they had the surgery (younger women probably had a higher rate or regrets). Just hypothesizing a bit.2. Again, I can’t say for sure, but I’d bet a paycheck that those who are suggesting you wait are generally a bit older than you. Why? Probably because they have lived through the changes of those years and have a pretty decent perspective on what it’s like on the other side of the decate.I’m not suggesting you are wrong or right. Yes, it’s your body. And you may never change your mind. But there is value in listening to the counsel of others. Particular those who are’ where we will be in a few years (our elders).The other thought is that I believe folks are offering their caution out of a sense of wanting the best for you. It might not actually be’ the best but I believe their intentions are sincere. And it seems like you have taken them in the spirit intended. It’s nice to see a respectful’ disagreement (although not all of those commenting have been particularly respectful).Ultimately, it’s your call. And I’m sure there are those who would do the surgery for you. But find a GOOD one or you very well may have serious regrets!Have a GREAT life (either way).

      • Julie Was Here

        This comment was falsely flagged as spam my the blog’s automatic filters. I’m not sure why. I hope this comment hasn’t been in queue for very long. I’m not exactly sure who you’re talking to, so I’ll answer.

        1.

        What study are you talking about? This is the About page.

        Don’t go making bets about ages. If you think it’s a factor, investigate the matter first, then try to use it to make a point.

        Actually, one study that I found (I’d have to track it down later, as I saw it quite some time ago) did investigate age of procedure, but found it to be of little influence. What did affect regret rates, however, was number of children. Women who had children were slightly more likely to feel regret after sterilization than women who never had any at all.

        2.

        You know what? As I was 22 at the time of the procedure, yeah, everyone telling me to wait WAS older than I was. And they were all people with kids. Here’s the thing, it wasn’t because I was young that they wanted me to wait, it was because I was doing something other than what they did themselves, and my age was a handy excuse to invalidate me. If I told them that I decided that I did want kids some day, no one would have told me that I was too young to decide that. And if I announced a pregnancy at the age of 22, I would have been congratulated by those same people. It has nothing to do with age.

        They aren’t concerned about what’s best for me either. They are concerned that I’m not following the same course they took in life and the one they wish that I would take as well. It’s called the “life script” and some people feel defensive when another person doesn’t follow it. It’s irrational, but very common. Essentially, by not following their life script, I have not validated their choices by emulating them myself. I did not place the same value on the choices that they made that they did, and so that’s seen as a rejection. “If this life is good enough for me, it should be good enough for you? Who are you to do things differently?” People are rarely conscious of this, but a quick discussion usually leads people to understand the true root of their “concern.” It’s insecurity.

        Now here’s the irony, study after study has shown that having children is more likely to decrease happiness and satisfaction with life, and increase chances of depression. Indeed, with the advent of widespread internet access, more and more parents are coming forward and anonymously confessing their regret at having had kids. And yet, no one seems to see this awkward fact worth mentioning when it comes to the matter.

        As it is, I’ve found a doctor and was fixed on World Population Day of last year.

  5. Julie,

    It’s Morgaine from our discussion on http://www.myobsaidwhat.com. I decided to check out your blog, and I wanted to let you know that I truly respect and admire that you have an educated opinion. You know what they say about opinions being like assholes, but so few these days have opinions with solid facts behind them. I agree with you on some things and REALLY disagree with you on others, but you are the kind of person that I love to disagree with.

    Rock on, lady. Keep doing what you do.

  6. Kudos to you for living according to your convictions. It takes a lot of personal strength to go against the social grain especially knowing that some people react so harshly toward those who chose to live a kind of life different than they’ve chosen for themselves. Many people, as indicated by some of the previous comments, cannot handle encountering someone who is atheist and childfree but still a good person. Due to insecurity or ignorance, they instinctively take it as an attack on their own lifestyles and then proceed to exhibit some of the worst characteristics of humanity. It’s a shame really.

    I grew up in Colorado Springs, then moved north of Denver. I love this state and am glad to see you enjoy it. Good luck on Pikes’ Peak, it’s a fun one.

    To Dan above: Science created the outdoors we love so much, but it’s mankind that’s ruining them. I only hope we can do something about that.

    • Julie Was Here

      Oh, another Colorado person. You know, I think I happen to meet more people in Colorado by chance on the internet than I do in real life. Well, more interesting people, anyway.

  7. I don’t have a problem with your lifestyle choices but what I do have a problem with is your lack of respect and downright prejudice towards parents and children. You are no different than a white racist trying to justify their views on why they can’t tolerate black people in their houses or in the community. Or a homophobic trying to explain their logic of hatred towards the LGBT community. Your logic is lacking in respect dignity and integrity. I would love to take the time to explain in detail your lack of the above but since you will never see past your own prejudice it would be a waste of your time and mine. And please don’t go anywhere near a child or parent you come in contact with as your lack of respect is only harmful.

    • Julie Was Here

      You mean my lack if worship for babies and reverence for their creators and not giving parents and kids special, preferential treatment constitutes prejudice and hatred?

      Bitch, are you completely out of your mind?

      If you’re going to claim that I am this or that, I expect you to back it up. (if we’re each just allowed to make up whatever we want, I could as well just declare you a child molester or something) So put up or shut up. Show me exactly where, in any of my writings, I have been anything that you accuse me of.

      Or else get over your pathetic little victim complex.

      • I guess if one states that they are childfree, then that must mean they hate parents and children. Thankfully not all of us drink the koolaid.

  8. I forgot one more thing. My bad. You have an abusive attitude towards children and again would be well advised never to be in their presence.

    • Julie Was Here

      Ok, you have a attitude of denial towards reality and everyone should be advised against taking you seriously. News flash, making shit up like that won’t impress anyone, it just makes you look like an ass.

      “abusive attitude.” what does that even mean, anyway? Do you even know? better yet, can you back it up?

      Fucking lunatic. Comment again when you have some sense.

      • I’m 26 and I’ve known for as long as I can remember that I never want kids. I’ve been wnaiitg for years for this so-called biological clock to kick in, as I’ve repeatedly been told it will. Yet I still haven’t experienced a shred of desire to have children. I’m the sort of person who likes to keep her options open, so personally I wouldn’t opt for tubal ligation, but I fully understand and support your choice (or rather, your wish, since apparently it’s not your choice).I don’t see how this is any different from other reproductive rights like abortion and birth control. It’s a matter of the right to control what happens to your reproductive organs. And what you’re getting from your doctor is not just reasonable concern as Suzy calls it, since the doctor isn’t just making sure that you’ve thought it through (which you clearly have): she flat-out refuses to perform the procedure. As for everyone who believes they know you better than you know yourself: People shouldn’t generalize from their own experience of changing their mind about wanting kids, nor should they condescend to tell you what to do with your body. Some women don’t want kids. Get over it, people.

  9. Hi,
    I really want to thank you for all of your posts on childfreedom and sharing your reasons for choosing to not have kids. I didn’t really know there were people who chose to not have kids until I was fourteen (I’m 17 now.)
    A little while after I figured that out, I realized I really didn’t want kids. It was great reading that you made your choice at a pretty young age as well, I’m glad I’m not the only person to have made the decision so early.
    So again, thanks for your posts :)

    -Violet

    • Julie Was Here

      Thanks.

      I’m not so sure that I made the decision early, I’ve just never wanted kids. I think never having wanted kids is a popular sentiment among many cf folks. It’s just that it isn’t usually until we’re older that we realize that we have a choice in the matter.

  10. Hello, Julie. I found your wonderful blog on Bratfree as I’m also a member there (known as kellic).

    I really enjoy reading your blog and love the way your unapologetically childfree and support abortion access like me. Being childfree was never a choice as I’ve always known that I never wanted kids from a young age. As for the pro-liers, to hell with their disgusting lying propaganda that a clump should have more rights than real people. Although I’m not an atheist, I still delight in the out-of-the-box thinking found here and anywhere for that matter.

    You may link up to my blog/site if you want.

  11. OMG. You sound like me. I wish I had known my own mind as well as you do at your age. I’m childfree too and got my tube tied at 35, I’m also an athiest and love my dog too and love my firearms. I wish there was more of us out there. I am loud and proud (but I’m straight and LGBT friendly too!) :)
    I have a big mouth and yap about my beliefs to anyone that’ll listen. My family doesn’t get me at all and I”m finally ok with that. I had to suffer through the Mommy Day dinner today. That took a whole bottle of wine. I had to listen to my father yak on on how he misses his mom, thinks mommy’s in general are sooo amazing. My sister (who bred 2 boys) and my mom were there. It was their moment. I might as well have been invisible yet I’m the one who didn’t breed, own my own biz and have 2 college degrees. If I had gotten knocked up at 19 I guess I would have been ok in all of their eyes.
    Fuck it. I’m not sorry one bit and wouldn’t trade it for all the gold in the world. Rock on young friend and NO REGRETS!!

  12. Hey Julie
    I’ve read parts of your blog and enjoyed them.
    I was particularly impressed by you managing to acquire access to tubal ligation at your age. I’m 24 now, in a country ruled by religious monkeys bent on using females as cannon fodder machines there’s a slim chance i’ll get mine any time soon.
    I was wondering whether you experienced any medical side-effects as a result of yours. And yes, i realize it’s a rather personal question. If you would be so good to answer me and dont want people to see it, my mail is (edited for privacy – Julie)
    All the best!
    Taly.

    • Julie Was Here

      I wrote about my tubal here so people would know what to expect. You better believe that I had questions of my own beforehand.

      No, I had no lasting side effects. I have heavier periods now, but that’s because in no longer manipulate my hormones with birth control and has nothing to do with the tubal itself.

      For about a week after the procedure, I had residual air trapped in my abdomen as a result of my abdomen being inflated for the procedure. It hurt to go from laying to sitting too fast and I was winded easily, but it wasn’t so bad, and it did quickly go away on it’s own.

      Any more questions?

      • Yes, i reached those posts by now and feeling a little stupid, should’ve read the whole blog before asking, i guess.
        Thanks, that’d be all :)

        • Julie Was Here

          Eh? Not at all. It’s a big blog. I can’t expect anyone to read through all of it, looking for something that they have no way of knowing is even there. :)

  13. I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award: http://wp.me/p1RjNH-BM

  14. Hey. I came across your blog after googling “positive stories tubal libation” as I’m having one next week and all the crap I’ve read about the post traumatic whatever was beginning to make me second guess. So a big fat thank you for your informative post. I’m not anti-kids, I have 2 lil ones who drive me nuts almost all day but they are really cute so I’ll keep em. I’m having another endometrial operation that requires sterilization as well. TMI? Too bad. But really, we are SO done having kids, these 2 are about to kill me. And I just want to have sex without freaking out for 3 weeks after. I’m fertile.
    We also live in CO, in Morrison. Wanna come over and baby sit? Ha. I’ll be reading here from now on and thanks again.

    • Julie Was Here

      I’m not anti-kids. Some of my best friends were kids. My uterus, on the other hand…

      There is no such thing as TMI on this post. I wrote it to inform and I’m glad to see it’s doing that. Every month or so, someone contacts me in one way or another to talk about it.

      I just passed my tubalversary last week. Don’t listen to those scare stories – they’re bogus. I’ve never felt better physically or mentally.

      If you have any questions or just want to talk, I can give you contact information.

  15. I didn’t mean to offend when I used the term anti-kids. I just meant that you didn’t want them for your own and I get that. Two of my sisters are perfectly happy living child free. Upon re-reading my comment I realize that I sound like I don’t enjoyy kids. I do, I couldn’t imagine life w/out those 2 lil buggers. But I will say that motherhood is by far the fucking hardest thing I have ever decided to do. And I’m usually pretty good at the things I decide to do, but this gig is challenging. Making me stronger and I wouldn’t change a thing.
    I’ll let you know how my TL (as they say) goes, appt is Thursday next week.

    • Julie Was Here

      Lol I was joking and I knew what you meant.

      Yes, I would love to hear from you about your tubal, but not as much as other women will. Listen, ever since I wrote about my tubal over a year ago, I have regularly been contacted by other women who said that my story helped them. When I was about to get my tubal, I was looking for positive tubal ligation stories to read myself, all while sifting through medical facts and myths to find the reality of the procedure.

      I’m asking you, if anything that I’ve said has helped you at all, pay it forward. Write one of those positive stories, like what you were looking for, for the next woman seeking sterilization to find. Then encourage her to do the same. The more women do this, the easier it will be to find such stories, the more confident we can be, and the more supported we can be.

  16. Hi-I do not like children nor do I want them-I have wanted to get a tubal for years yet I do not know one single person that has not had kids who has gotten it done-
    I want to hear from someone who has had it done, with no kids what happens after-How do you feel? How are your periods? Are you hormonal?

    I just need answers and many searches I do online do not help-

    Please tell me all you can to help-

    Thank you!!!!!!!!

    • Julie Was Here

      I feel great. My periods are heavy, but that’s because they’re back to normal since I’m now off hormonal birth control.

      I have a collection of sterilization info on this page. On the top bar, click “so you want to get fixed ” (or whatever it was called.)

  17. Exactly what I expect from a believer in the
    god myth. Have a nice night!

    • Julie Was Here

      Whoops, sorry. I was answering from my phone. I thought you were talking to me. I deleted my comment.

  18. Shelly Lyon

    Soooo…let me get this straight. This is Julie’s blog. There is no rule that if you don’t like her views, you have to stay and read it. If you do read a post, and don’t agree or enjoy the content, do you really think that your ignorant, illiterate ranting is going to change the mind of an educated, self-assured young woman? She’s served her country. She contributes to society. What in hell do YOU do? Shut the hell up and go elsewhere. This blog is not for you, obviously.

  19. My wife directed me to your site, and now I am following. So great. I wrote “Planned UnParenthood Creating a Life Without Procreating” about the decision not to have kids. I know there is lots in the book that you will agree with and appreciate. Keep up the grand work.

  20. Hi, I posted on your “My Childfree Rules” just recently, which came across my path by coincidence today and I’ve been reading a lot more inside your blog, I am deeply impressed on the kind of woman you are and you should be very proud of yourself. You speak your mind out..the truth with T!. I don’t usually leave comments nor reply, even if what I read makes me happy or mad, mostly because there are not enough blogs with a pourpose. I believe that owning the childfree lifestyle is a part of gaining certain consciousness about life itself. Child control is a very big deal, and there are so many ways to address it, that sometimes people are blindsided on what’s socially OK. But what it is “socially OK” does not mean that follows any kind of moral and if it does, it rides on double standards. Where I am from, Pro-Choice is far from being accepted, yet, I think it is winning terrain with time, and with the voice and actions of women as yourself. I will definitely be keeping and eye on your blog. See ya’!

  21. Hey Julie, I wasn’t sure how to contact you, sorry if I missed something. I’m getting the following message when visiting your other blog, The Golden Coat Hanger:

    “Oh no! This domain goldencoathanger.com expired 12 days ago!

    Please contact the owner of this website and ask them to renew the domain. Don’t worry, you’ll still be able to view the site at this web address: juliewashere88.wordpress.com.”

    The alternate address, juliewashere88.wordpress.com, just redirects to goldencoathanger.com and I get the same error (obviously).

    You haven’t given up on that blog, have you? :(

    • Julie Was Here

      Thanks. Actually I’m handing the blog over to Jessica Sideways. I might return as a contributor later.

      Weird that it sent a notice to you though.

      • Ok, that’s great! :D Can’t wait to hear from Jessica then!

        (I think it fires up that notice for everybody who visits the page.)

  22. Lol, you’re not a “good” person. You’re one of the nastiest meanest people I’ve ever met. I really hope you learn to deal with your anger issues.

  23. Hi Julie. I just thought you’d like to know there are parents who do fully support the CF choice and aren’t judgmental. As a “done after one” (DAO) mom, I can definitely understand why some folks don’t choose to go down the parenting path, especially since I chose to stop at one.

    Stopping at just one child also makes one a target for the guilt peddlers, as I know very well from experience. The “bingoes” are slightly different, but they are extremely annoying all the same. I have one line I use for anyone who might be on the fence about parenthood: “if you have ANY doubts, don’t do it.” Contrary to what religious conservatives want everyone to believe, there is nothing wrong with the childfree choice. I hope you don’t mind my leaving a comment here, since I’m not CF. If you do, I’ll respect your decision. :)

  24. Brilliant Blog! Love it!

  25. Hi Julie. I am still flabbergasted by the level of negative hate-comments that people who declare themselves as childfree must still expect to endure; I consider you courageous for going so public. For the record, I was fixed (absolutely) at 26, having also found it hard to find a willing practitioner.. until I remembered that money will bend rules. I also felt a relief/elation combo when I came round, and have never regretted it, for a giga second.

    I am now 54, and assumed the world would have moved on by now. But the desperate, rgid other-control neediness of breeders seems the same. Which in an odd way is a vindication, of something to long for here. But, we are free. And they can never change that.

    Congratulations, and .Bonne Vie.

  26. I’m a UK journalist urgently looking for positive stories of tubal ligation of young women and love your blog. Would you consider talking to us for five minutes tomorrow about your story? If so I’m contactable on joadnitt at gmail dot com

    I hope to hear from you and I can tell you more about the piece. Many thanks

    Jo

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