Childfree = “Having It All” (Moved!)

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Posted on 2013/09/06, in childfree and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. I applaud you. I have been following your blog since just before I decided to make the decision back in Feb to have myself permanently fixed after MANY years of fighting doctors to finally do it. ::cyber high five:: Thanks for sharing some inspiration to those of us following the very overgrown and rarely walked path of child free :)

  2. I feel similarly. I worked in a daycare for awhile and one of the women there worked in the same room with her baby. (Thankfully I was only covering in that room. If I’d had to spend all day there I think I would have lost my mind.) She thought I was strange because apparently I’m the only woman she’s ever met who doesn’t want kids. She held her baby close and asked me if I was sure I don’t want that…yep. I’m happy for her that she loves it but I just don’t have that desire for myself. I know there are things people enjoy about having kids and if I’d had them I’m sure I could have found things to like about it, but I’m glad I took the time to assess the things I gain by not having kids first, and to realize that there was nothing about having kids that drew me to want them much less to want them more than the life I have now.

  3. Interesting blog here. I have two children, so first of all sorry for trespassing. There is some truth that parents have in the childless adults, that we watch in envy all your abilities in achieving financial and career successes. Or just the fact that you get to sleep through the night, meanwhile I have been getting up several times a night to breastfeed (or really just act as a human pacifier).

    I found your blog by googling Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome. I had a bilateral salpinectomy back in July of 2013, after one year of contemplating it. After two children, at age 32 I knew I didn’t want to have any more children, I was having a hard enough time with the two that I have. As if one wasn’t hard enough! That being said, blood is thicker than water, and in a completely non-narcisstic way I can genuinely express that I love them both dearly, and although they were not planned, they were very much welcomed into the world with loving, open arms.

    I understand that you have made a choice for yourself based on your personal needs, we all do. But I would shy away from expelling PTLS as imaginary. I have yet to see a doctor to run through the issues I have been having since the operation (mainly within the last few months) but I am certain without a doubt in my being, that these issues stem from my elective decision to mess with my endocrine system.

    I think you are bright, intelligent, and you know what you want in life. I know for me, some things have changed based on certain events, but the fact still remains that I don’t want any more children. But that doesn’t dismiss the episodes I have experiencing. There is some truth, although the numbers might be small, in the fact that cutting off half of the ovaries blood supply and connection with the nervous system can alter the exchange of hormones. For me, the doctor completely removed the tubes as a precautionary measure against ovarian cancer, and having uterine and cervical cancer in my family, I am thankful to have at least that step in cancer prevention completed.

    But these symptoms are real. I think as women, childless or not, we should not act so defensive in our choices, but to learn from them and help each other. Women face enough adversity and challenge in having our voices heard, as you mentioned with your plight to find a doctor who would “fix” you. For the sake of fellowship among women, I am saddened to see this dialogue, which I don’t think is very helpful. Just because you are among the majority of women who do not feel PTLS does not mean it isn’t real. There is still yet a lot of research to be done and other factors to be studied to determine why some women are feeling the way they feel, mainly because the doctor who carried out the procedure assured them there would be no differences.

    Anyway, interesting blog. I admire your balls in shouting out your thoughts on other people’s situations, I was once 22 too, so I can relate :)

    I know you don’t have any regrets, and if you really wanted a child you would adopt, and maybe you will? We don’t know what’s in store for us.. we can’t plan everything to a T. But one thing I am certain of: no one on their deathbed ever says “I wish I worked more” or “I wish I spent more time getting educated”. They talk about their loved ones and no one ever, regrets a child. I know I sure don’t.

    This overpopulation will be settled soon anyhow, the earth has a way to regulate itself… either by disease or the emerging so called superbugs. We are entering post-antibiotic era… scary really, when you think about it.

  4. 1. PTLS is imaginary. Myths like that hurt women and should not be allowed to be perpetuated. Tubal ligations have been PROVEN to have no effect on the endocrine system whatsoever (The same can not be said for breeding.) Tubal ligations have no effect on blood supply to the ovaries because the arteries that supply the ovaries do not pass through the fallopian tubes along the way. Symptoms may be real, but it does no good to jump to absurd conclusions as to the causes of them when many things could be the cause, and when there exists the nocebo effect (google it) which literally allows people to think themselves sick, manifesting real symptoms of imaginary conditions.

    2. No. I won’t adopt. Why the hell would I go and do that to myself?

    3. Yes, it’s entirely possible for each of us to plan our lives, particularly the parts as to when and if we’ll have kids by any means. It turns out that all it takes is a little bit of responsibility.

    4. Did you just say that no one regrets having a child? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Here, have fun with this link. As for deathbed regrets, find children on this list.

    5. Do you know what nature’s solution to overpopulation is? Massive, rapid population decline through starvation and disease or even outright extinction of that species. And as for humans, it’s really a matter of how much damage we do to our planet for all other species that reside upon it along the way.

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