My Childfree Rules Re-Write: About Being Childfree (MOVED!)

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Posted on 2012/04/06, in childfree, Feminism, Humanism, Prochoice, Sexism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. critter8875

    Oh yes.
    Every frackin one (I’m over 60).

  2. I found you via your original list of childfree rules. Of course, that list is yours and my list would be different, but I was eager to read your aggressive words. A good point or opinion endures testing, and reading your list felt like a necessary test to some of my preconceived notions or opinions. I enjoyed that.
    Keep up the good work.

    • Julie Was Here


      Incidentally, it’s always amazed me how unpopular opinions, when expressed unapologetically, can be labeled “aggressive.”

  3. SimplicityComplex

    I just stumbled on your site last night and wanted to say how much I love your candor. I will definitely be reading here in the future. Keep up the great work. It’s great brain snackage.

  4. Melanie Stone

    My attention has been brought to your blog before, as I, too, by your very own definition, am childfree. While I admire blogs like yours (I know how difficult it is to put not ever wanting kids ‘out there’), I really wish the aggressive tone that’s already been identified was absent from you’re writing; it makes you sound bitter (“methinks the lady doth protest too much”). The perception that people who make choices like ours are somehow bitter is the only thing that sometimes bothers me. That’s just my tuppence worth; delete/disregard as appropriate.

    • Melanie Stone

      *your, even.

      Apologies if this comes off as too negative, it’s not like I’m writing a blog to combat my complaint about yours!

    • Julie Was Here

      Oh, that’s right. Silly me, I’ve neglected to kneel at the altar of the great diaper.

      I’m always amused at how I’m called “aggressive,” “angry,” and “bitter” when I don’t engage in the same pro-breeder leg-humping that we’re so very accustomed to in this natalism-worshipping society.

      You go ahead and be a meek little doormat if you want.

  5. Melanie Stone

    Bite me. There, that better for you?

    Words like “aggressive” etc and “doormat” are only really relevant when one lets a single issue define you – much like parents often become defined by being a mum or a dad almost as soon as sperm meets egg. You allow it to relegate everything else about you. My point was that that tunnel vision is levelled at parents pretty much all the time, and it was one of the (many) reasons I decided against ever having children – I don’t want my identity to be taken over by one thing. The best thing about having no children is the freedom to persue whatever one wants, whenever one wants, and to have the full freedom to “contain multitudes” (thank you Walt Whitman. You can do this with kids; if only more parents would! But that’s a separate argument).

    I just find it ironic and frustrating when others without children then let that in itself define them. It’s swapping one shackle for another. And that perception that those without kids are somehow ‘lacking’ is only propagated, I find, when the childfree seem to be so very bitter/angry/aggressive about others’ decisions to procreate. Maybe if I read more of your blog I’ll find posts about other things that interest you, like hiking, or humanism. Maybe you’re as equally as aggressive/bitter/angry about those things too. Thankfully the internet is big place *trips off to google*.

    Peace love out.

    • Julie Was Here

      Bitter, angry, aggressive. Blah blah blah. Using those labels must be a very convenient way for the intellectually lazy to invalidate views that differ from their own all while never making any real points against them. No, no. Why bother actually making a reasoned argument against a particular point when you can just impose any meaning on someone else’s writing that suits the frame you desperately need it to be in so you can feel superior without having to do the hard work of critical thought?

      As it happens, being childfree is a major part of who I am, as whether or not I breed affects every single aspect of my life. For instance, I am currently in the process of buying a house. Had I children, I would not be able to come anywhere close to affording the house that I just made an offer on.

      But saying that my whole identity is about being childfree an nothing else is not true. That is simply nothing more than a lie on your part, a fiction that you invented so you could dismiss me without actually addressing anything that I’ve said. Is that really what it takes for you to feel better about yourself?

  6. Melanie Stone

    Hahahahaha. What you’ve written there is utter drivel, and from what I’ve seen from (an albeit small) selection of your blog repetitive drivel at that. My favourite bits: your crazy rants about public breastfeeding and your hot mess of a family. I won’t be back, but part of me does think this blog could be the gift that keeps on giving!

    • Julie Was Here

      It has not escaped my notice that while insults abound, you have yet to pose any real criticism or even make one single point.

      Oh, what I’ve written isn’t about whatever subject matter you, your highness, happen to be personally interested in (and yet you’re here)? You can jolly well fuck off and write your own blog then. Go whine there.

  7. ValiantBlue

    Cue obligatory and self-contradicting announcement that the material herein isn’t of interest and therefore undeserving of patronage. Because we were all waiting for your evaluation.

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