How does a childfree atheist celebrate Easter?

Two very similar things happened on Twitter today. First, a prominent childfree tweeter asked: “If you are #childfree and have holy days this weekend, how do you celebrate Easter or Passover?“ Later, I noticed a tweet by a total maniac asking a similar question (which he proceeded to answer himself): “What do atheists celebrate while others enjoy Easter & Passover? NOTHING!”

I find these questions interesting. Easter, much like Christmas, while having completely optional and easily avoidable ties to religion, aren’t so much religious holidays as they are cultural ones. Christmas is especially interesting as a so-called “Christian” holiday considering its pagan roots. Even various Easter traditions, like eggs and hares, are taken from the traditions of other religions and have nothing to do with Christianity. Here in the US, both Christmas and Easter are heavily marketed and celebrated as secular events, rather than strictly religious dates. So it’s very interesting when Christians try to claim ownership of them.

As for not having children, I see now reason why that should impede my ability to celebrate. I believe that the idea that children are necessary for a day to be worth celebration can be blamed partially on marketing. Kids want stuff, stuff costs money, buy this stuff for the holiday. Have you seen some of these Christmas lists kids write, or these insanely huge Easter baskets? Additionally, when we were kids ourselves we remember receiving such gifts and having things be made very child-friendly by our own parents and the culture at large, so we naturally associate the days with children.

As it happens, being childfree and atheist has allowed me to have more fun on Easter than I would have had otherwise. I don’t have to waste my time in church, for one thing, an advantage of being atheist. And I don’t have to throw a fit over trying to cram Jesus in between the far-more-interesting plastic toys and chocolate bunnies. Additionally, since I don’t have kids, I can spend a lot more time, effort, and money making a holiday, yes, even Easter, more enjoyable for myself and my partner.

So, how does a childfree atheist celebrate Easter?

Well, my first Easter as a full, open atheist was spent in Iraq. Honestly though, being an atheist didn’t make much of a difference as Easters back home were never really religious. Easter was always about candy and fun. That Iraq Easter, My mother sent me a care package containing two big-eared, hollow chocolate bunnies – MY FAVORITE! Regrettably, as it was 130 degrees Fahrenheit on any given day, and the mail was kept in what is basically a giant, metal oven, what I received in my care-package was nothing more than two chocolate puddles. Well, it’s the thought that counts, right? My mom and I still laugh over that little mistake.

On another Easter, my last in the Army, I volunteered with my company to help stuff eggs for an Easter-egg hunt for local children (you know, because as a childfree person, I just HATE children, right?) I even put some money, my own, in rare, gold-colored eggs. Unfortunately, I was not able to attend the event myself (at the time of the event, I was just getting off a 24-hour staff duty shift at battalion,) but I hear that there was much fun had by all.

This Easter, I put together a nice gift basket for the child of a friend of mine (again, I am clearly an evil, child-hating witch.) I filled it with candy and toys. I put some spare change in some plastic Easter-eggs for him, as I knew he was saving money in a coin jar to buy some Legos (coins are how his parents reward him for good behavior, and allowing him to save up to buy things teaches him the value of money.) I even got him one of those hollow, big-ears, chocolate bunnies I always loved getting from my mom. It was entirely too much sugar for the kid, so his mother has control of how much candy he was allowed to eat at a time. I think that what I gave him should last a while.

One more nice thing: being Childfree allows me to celebrate Easter as an adult, if I like. And I only have one person that I have to share my candy with. I can enjoy nice things for myself and play any games that I want. And being atheist allows me to do so without the need of irrational guilt over not involving Jesus in some way. . So how am I celebrating Easter? Well, here’s a hint:

Enjoy your Easter.

Edit: My Easter didn’t quite go as planned. I got unexpectedly called in to work because someone else called off.The deviled eggs and pineapple ham I planned to make for Easter will have to wait, I guess.

When my boyfriend got home, he found eggs hidden all over his room again, as well as a lovely basket sitting on his desk. That’s a nice thing to come home to when getting off work, I think. He waited for me to get home to find all of the hidden eggs.

I had three gold eggs, which were better hidden than the others. Each of the gold eggs was filled with chocolate coins, but that wasn’t what made them special. Each of these gold eggs contained a special coupon. Kisses, backrubs, etc.