Monthly Archives: December 2011

Happy Holidays

Have a merry, happy, holly-jolly…

Huh. Seems I’m forgetting something…

Oh, yeah, now I remember, how silly of me!

Fuck you, American Family Association (why do hate-groups made up of Christians so frequently include “family” in their name?), you misogynist, homophobic, xenophobic, ignorant, fundamentalist pricks!


10 Reasons Santa Is Better Than God

    1. Santa doesn’t care if you believe in him or not. He’s not that insecure.
    2. Santa rewards and punishes people based on their deeds, not whether or not they kissed his ass enough. (see #1.)
    3. Santa’s punishment is, at worst, coal. Santa never flooded the planet (Gen.7:21-22,) had pregnant women be ripped up and have their little ones dashed upon rocks (Hos.13:16,) and never threatened anyone with eternal torment in a fiery pit (Matthew 13:41-42.) Santa isn’t fucking psychotic.
    4. Santa’s reward for goodness is presents. Something practical that you can use. Something you can get every year. You don’t have to be dead to get it.
    5. Santa doesn’t want you to be good for him, or for the reward of presents, or for the fear of coal, but to “be good for goodness sake.”
    6. No one has ever killed, waged war, interfered with school curriculum, attacked science, or interfered with laws and government in Santa’s name.Nor has anyone used Santa as an excuse for bigotry against minority groups. You don’t see any “Santa hates fags” signs around, do you?
    7. None of Santa’s elves have ever gone rogue and waged war with the North Pole. Santa is a competent leader and keeps his people in line. Or maybe hanging with Santa is just better.
    8. Santa does not demand brutal human sacrifice on a cross. He’d just appreciate some milk and cookies. And maybe some carrots for the reindeer. Torture? He’ll pass.Oh, and he doesn’t want any of your money, either.
    9. NORAD tracks Santa every year. That’s just awesome.

      You can also get your picture taken with Santa in stores. God has yet to pose with me or my dog.

    10. Although neither god nor Santa are real, no one judges your character for not believing in Santa.

The Hiking Humanist In 2012

When I started this blog, it was meant to be a way for me to talk about my little adventures (backpacking, etc) and an outlet for me to talk about what was on my mind that just wasn’t entirely relevant to the pro-choice blog I write for with decreasing frequency, The Golden Coat Hanger.

Although it wasn’t exactly my intention when I first started thing blog, it seems that most of my posts are about being childfree. It makes sense, since it was only relatively recently that I discovered the word, at it was this year that I got my tubal ligation surgery. And naturally, being childfree is as big a part of my life as being a parent ought to be to anyone with kids. And, well, writing about being childfree is easy. I’m just writing about my personal experiences and opinions, so there’s little research required, so I can knock out posts very quickly and with little effort.

I didn’t get to go hiking as much as I had planned to this year, and didn’t get to go camping at all. Between surgeries, work, and major life changes, it just didn’t all go as planned. Well, there’s always next year. For now, I’m just waiting for some decent snow so I can take my snowboard out of storage. That would give me more to write about.

As for next year, I hope to have more adventures with my BF and our dog, and I hope to write more on GCH, the blog that started all of this. I’ll always have more to write that relates, in some way, to being childfree, but I do intend to write about a more varied range of topics as I have a lot on my mind.

That is, if the world doesn’t end. (Spoilers: it won’t.)


And Here I Thought Being Childfree Was The Opposite Of Parenting…

I had forgotten all about this for a long time, but was reminded of it recently. So I have to share.

Every summer, while visiting my grandparents, my family went to this lovely beach on a lake. The lake was weird. Past the waterline, the ground disappeared fast. You wouldn’t have to be very far from shore before the water got pretty deep. The beach was private and had no life guard. Everyone was expected to mind their own safety.

I wasn’t a great swimmer (I could barely doggy paddle) as a kid (not much better now,) but enjoyed relaxing as I floated around on an inner tube. I wasn’t the only kid to do that.

Anyway, I was floating around when a group of much younger and smaller kids (no older than about five or so) floated vaguely my way. I didn’t think much of it, until one slipped off his boogie board and disappeared under the water. I watched little hands frantically splashing at the surface of the water, but no head surfaced. The other kids watched in shock.

It would have taken too long to paddle over on my floatie (and it wasn’t a very good floatie and could barely support me, anyway) so I jumped off to help. I thought, since I was taller, it wouldn’t be much of a problem. But like I said, the water level was deceptive and I was in too deep as well.

I lifted the kid high enough to get his head out of the water so he could breathe, and held my breath as I walked (slowly) below the water until I reached water shallow enough for my head to clear the surface. As the drop off was somewhat steep, as I said, I didn’t have to go very far.

The kid was shaken up, but otherwise OK. It occurred to me that this kid could have drowned. Hell, I could have drowned just trying to help him. There could be dead kids floating in the water. And no one seems to have noticed the crisis that was just averted could have just happened at all.

There were no parents around to help him. Even now that we were on shore, no one rushed over to check on their baby. I asked him to take me to his parents. Not only were they not in the water watching their little kid who, obviously could not swim, they were nowhere even near the water. The oblivious idiots were drinking on a blanket about as far away from anything as they could get and still be on the beach property. And it wasn’t as if their kids just wandered off (and if they did, shouldn’t the parents be looking for them?) the parents (and I use that term very loosely) knew full well that the kids were off in the lake where there was no lifeguard.

Oh, I hope they felt the guilt when I told them their kid could have drowned if a 13 year old hadn’t just done their job for them. But maybe that was exactly what they were hoping for, a retroactive “abortion.” And then they’d act distraught and claim, “I only looked away for a minute!” Or maybe their thought was an area full of people (complete strangers) meant free babysitting.
Either way, they’re irresponsible fucking idiots who should not have bred. I find it amazing that I can yet be called a “child-hater” for not having any of my own, even as morons like these neglect theirs.

Although I am not a fan of the word “breeder,” I am most familiar with its use as referring to people who do not deserve the title of parent. It’s used to distinguish good parents from bad ones, so as not to generalize all parents. I do recognize that there is a world of difference between just having kids and actually being a parent. The word parent, I think, should also be treated as a verb.


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