What A Beautiful Day!
“I know it’s absolutely true, because the Bible is always absolutely true.”
Happy October 22, 2011 everybody!
It’s just past midnight where I live, meaning that it’s officially October 22nd. I don’t know about the weather where you live, but the forecast where I live predicts that the weather today will be just dandy! I’m expecting it to be warm and sunny. It would be a great day for a cook-out if I hadn’t already had one three days in a row now and run myself out of steaks and hamburgers. I wasn’t supposed to need them today, you see. Oh well, my dog will enjoy a few games of fetch in nice grass. Sadly, apart from throwing around a drool-soaked tennis ball, I have no plans for this beautiful day.
You see, the world was supposed to end yesterday, according to Harold Camping. Has no one told you? Evidently, no one told the world as it’s still a spinnin, with all her people still on it and none of them seeming to be raptured. I made a note of of my non-destruction to my Christian boyfriend as we enjoyed our charcoal-grilled steak on our patio. I was reminded of the time that he, despite being a Christian, didn’t fly off into the sky one particular spring afternoon as we were hiking in Colorado’s beautiful mountains.
Harold Camping couldn’t have been wrong, could he? I mean, never-mind that he was wrong when he predicted the end of the world in 1994. And he was wrong again when he predicted the rapture back in May. After saying how “flabbergasted” he was, he excused the non-event by saying it was a spiritual judgement day, or whatever. There still weren’t the massive earthquakes he predicted, or were they supposed to be spiritual earthquakes?
But he was so sure that this was it! The bible told him so! Harold, as were what remained of his congregation, all 25 of them, was certain that the rapture and the end of the world would occur on October 21, 2011. Well, not too certain. Camping still wasn’t about to sell/give away his stuff, you know, like Jesus might have. And as the date loomed, Camping backed away from the strong words he’d used previously. Gone were words like “absolutely” and “without any question,” replaced by “probably” and “maybe.”
Look out your window. Does the world look like it’s ended to you? No? I didn’t think so. What did we tell you, Camping?
Camping can’t use the cop-out of saying it was only a spiritual even this time. Not after saying this to the press.
“We are not changing the dates at all. We are just looking at it a little more spiritually but it won’t be spiritual on Oct. 21 because the Bible teaches the world will be destroyed altogether. But it will be very quick,”
Kind of painted yourself into a corner there, didn’t you?
Now consider something, Family Radio spent an estimated $100 million in ad money promoting this prediction. Imagine if, instead of trying to “save” people, they actually tried to save people – like, oh, I don’t know, feeding the starving people all over the world? With that kind of cash, maybe they could have helped fund research into curing disease? Maybe they could have helped people in remote locations access clean water? Maybe they could have started a homeless shelter? They could have done a lot of actual good with that kind of money. But they didn’t. Christ, were he real, would be ashamed.
You KNOW he’s not going to refund his sheep the donations that they faithfully sent him. That’s OK. Camping is 90 now. He’s not likely to need his retirement fund restocked a third time. Truthfully, anyone dumb enough to fall for this crap deserves to be removed from their money anyway so I don’t even pity them. Clever scam you pulled there, crazy old man.
For your dose of WTF, enjoy this: