Monthly Archives: September 2011
Reception on Reddit:
Derp 1: “denial.”
Derp 2: “So you’re proud of being defective? What the fucking fuck.”
Me: “Defective? Hardly. I paid good money to make my self sterile. It’s called getting fixed for a reason.”
Derp 2: “Why would you do such a thing?”
Me: “Because I actually have a life. Why the hell would I want to waste it mindlessly breeding like everybody else?”
Me (to a CF person): “I had a tubal ligation.
Not long after that, my BF and I were signing a lease for a home. The agent kept trying to talk to us about kids, but we made it clear we weren’t having any. So he says to us, “you never know, accidents happen.”
LOL not to me. “
Derp 3: “What he meant to say was “miracle”.”
Me: “Sure, if something utterly repellent but easily fixed with an abortion can be called a “miracle.””
Derp 4: “now you don’t have to suck all that cum down, now you can take the full load in your loose pussy ^_^ enjoy being a whore, that’s what i got from this comic =D”
Isn’t the internet nice?
I’ve said on more than one occasion that if I were to donate my eggs, I would only do so if I could be certain they would be used for medical research. I definitely DON’T want any of my eggs going to help some narcissistic infertile couple have their special mini-me without having to even consider doing anything useful, like adopting a kid who already exists. That’s what I’ve said.
Then the other day I found myself bored and Googling tubal ligation failures. I found a message board for women who have experience just that very thing, all of which seemed to keep their pregnancies anyway. I certainly wouldn’t. Anyway, I kept searching Google for topics related to tubal ligation.
I found out that one can still donate eggs after a tubal. Huh, that’s interesting, I thought. Unfortunately, all of such places for that in my area that I could find were for fertility treatment. Bleh. As if the planet needs more people.
Despite my principles, I stuck around and discovered that there was about a $5-6K compensation for donating eggs. I reluctantly started filling out application forms. Sure, it totally flew in the face of my principles, but, well, it was a lot of money. I reasoned that me not donating would not stop people from getting donor eggs anyway, and it wasn’t like I was using mine so I may as well get something for them. Yes, that’s how I justified this to myself.
It wasn’t the first time that I volunteered to be part of something I opposed. I joined the Army knowing full well that I would serve under the worst president our country as ever had, and in the senseless war he started in Iraq. I knew this, but I joined and served anyway. The allure of a job, and benefits. Sure, I believe I did positive work while in, and I wouldn’t have met my wonderful BF had I not joined. But I still compromised my beliefs for the reward. I’m not sure what that says about me.
This time, I was spared the compromise. I was notified that I was too short to be considered to continue through the egg donation application process. I don’t honestly know if I would have gone through with it anyway. I’ve never been so relieved to be rejected.
I’m hoping that I can find an agency that accepts eggs for medical research purposes only. I’d be all over that in a heartbeat.
A friend of mine who knows and accepts that I don’t ever want children has a young son who I absolutely adore. The kid is unbearably cute, amazingly intelligent, and has been very well behaved whenever I visited. He also has autism, which is NOT a defect in need of cure, but part of who this precious boy is as a person.
Recently, I made a trip to visit my friend and her kid, bringing along a backpack full of birthday gifts for the boy. Some gifts were things that I purchased, and some were things I just sort of acquired. Even the backpack itself was a gift for the start of his new school year.
The kid was already tugging on his ear, his “tell” that he’s excited, as soon as he came into the room. I first handed him a card in an envelope. He took it, then peeked into the backpack where he knew the toys were. His mom patiently explained to him that cards are a social custom and he was supposed to open in first. He did that and was so interested in the puppy on the cover that he didn’t notice the money drop out. I think that he was more used to receiving money in the form of coins, as that’s how he is often rewarded for good behavior. He wasn’t at all interested in the $20 bill, he wanted the toys in the pack. So adorable!
I gave him the rest of his gifts, which I regret that I could not wrap, one by one. A toy truck, a puzzle, and a Boggle game that I hoped could be used as a teaching tool. I also gave him an art set with a sketch book, as well as some notebooks for school. When we were done, he gave me a big, heart-melting hug, the first I’ve ever gotten from him, and then he ran off to play. I believe that I very well may have smiled all evening.
My friend explained to me that kid, although speech-delayed, was constantly learning new words. For instance, he could tell people which dinosaurs were “carnivorous” and which were “herbivorous,” and was working on words like “quadrupedal” and “bipedal.” Not bad for a 6-year-old. He has delayed speech and has trouble with social skills, but he is very smart. I feel that I have learned a lot about autism that I may not have learned otherwise since I met him.
I was told that the boy learned the spelling of words by memory, rather than by phonetics, because that was just what worked best for him. I was told that he was learning how to spell, but has trouble writing due to double-jointedness. My friend told me that it would take the child more strength in his fingers than it would a normal child just to write. She said that for one hand-strengthening exercise, he was to use a hole-punch on paper, but doing so was boring. I had fun brainstorming solutions. I remember how, when I had occupational therapy for my wrist, the medics were always concocting creative new ways to exercise joints. I suggested printing off a picture of a spotted animal, say, a dalmatian, and having him use the hole-punch to put holes in the spots. My friend seemed to like the idea, and said she could use a picture of a spotted dinosaur, as her boy, like most children, likes dinosaurs.
Although I know I that will never have or want kids, if I did, I’d want one just like him, autism and all. I have no idea if she was being 100% serious or not, but the other day that friend asked me to be Kid’s “godless mother.” (“Godless” because I’m an atheist.) If for any reason I was needed to care for kid, I would, happily. I like Kid very much and I believe that he has a bright future ahead of him. Not despite his autism, but maybe even because of it because it’s part of who he is.
For anyone convinced that childfree necessarily means selfish, child-hating, witch; you’re wrong. Although I don’t like all kids, I don’t dislike all kids either. Kids, like adults, are individuals. And I think this individual, like his mother, is pretty great. And for anyone convinced that children with autism are defective, or stupid; again, you’re wrong. This kid amazes people with his cleverness every day.
I may have mentioned on a few occasion the pitbull puppy belonging to a neighbor. To fill you in, Diyogi (get it? D-O-G) was frequently left chained up on a short line OUTSIDE of the yard (as in, right in front of my car. Evidently she thinks the dog’s poop, which she never picks up, should be everyone else’s problem) left completely unsupervised (HELLO! DOGS AREN’T DECORATIONS! THEY HAVE TO BE SOCIALIZED AND TRAINED!) for hours on end without food, water, or toys.
Am I really surprised that she treats her dog in such a way, considering how she treats her kids? I believe that she has at least two young children, but it’s hard to tell who is the parent of the many, many children running around, screaming, and throwing trash onto my patio, out in the big section of communal green-space between the town-home buildings because no one here ever seems to actually watch their kids. This woman may have kids, but she’s no parent. If I were to put a name to her, I would go with what the childfree community uses for people who do not deserve the title of parent – breeder (not to be confused with someone whose occupation is animal husbandry.)
BTW. Our building has a rule, no dogs under 2 years of age are allowed, and there’s a fee for having dogs. Breeder lady obviously isn’t reporting that she has a dog and so isn’t paying for it. And another thing, she’s always taking my parking spot. She has two, why the hell does she need to have her guests always use mine, which I PAY FOR! What, are her guests too good for visitor parking so I, someone who actually lives there, have to find a free visitor parking spot all the way on the other side of the complex?
Anyway, the other day, the inevitable happened. As this complex is breeder central, always full of unsupervised small children, the dog bit a little girl. Likely, the untrained and under-stimulated pup just wanted to play. I heard the girl scream outside, but the brats are always screaming out there anyway so I didn’t think anything of it.
My boyfriend said he saw a man running towards a group of kids while waving a stick to get the dog. (I’m surprised anyone was watching the kids at all!) BF didn’t know what was going on though, so he grabbed his pistol and ran outside, then getting the full story which he relayed to me.
It seems somebody called 911 as some completely unnecessary emergency vehicles showed up. (A fire truck, really?) So now the pup has been taken away and is likely to be put down (if that hasn’t happened already.) I feel so sorry for that poor puppy. I really wish that I’d reported her neglect when I had the chance. Not only is this pup now being punished for having the bad luck of having such an inept owner, but now this incident will be a statistic, possibly one that could cause it to be more difficult for competent people to have pits due to government imposed restrictions.
I don’t blame the dog, I blame the shitty owner. There should be a license requirement to get a dog, and one to have kids too.