Countdown To Tubal: What Childfree Means To Me

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Posted on 2011/06/27, in childfree, Countdown To Tubal, Feminism, Prochoice, Sexism and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. butterflymkmh

    I follow you on Twitter & I love this post. I am a mother & yes I feel it is the best most rewarding thing I have ever or will ever do, but it isn’t for everyone & that’s ok! Like you, I always knew growing up I wanted to be a mom & although I got my wish a bit untimely, I still got it. I want everyone to be free to do the same. The only people who should have kids are the ones who really truly want them. Forget money, forget fancy jobs or big houses, those things help but they aren’t what makes a parent. A parent is someone who truly desires to have kids and raise them. The other stuff will fall into place. I think too many people, especially women, have kids simply because they think that is what the are supposed to do, not because they actaully sat & thought about it & figured out that they really wanted to be parents. Every child should be a wanted child. Thank you for making the best choice for you! I wish you luck & a speedy recovery! Are they doing liproscopic or are you having those little metal wires inserted? Just curious!

    • Julie Was Here

      Good for you
      And thanks.
      I thought about getting Essure, but I eventually decided against it. I have enough man-made objects permanently stuck in my body as it is. Besides, I worry about the scarring not closing the tubes completely or an accident with a secondary BC method occurring before closure. An unwanted pregnancy would be bad enough, but it’s the chance of an ectopic that scares me. I’ve decided on laproscopic surgery. My tubes will but cut and cauterized. I want to be sure.

  2. I am with you on all of this.

  3. Wow, thanks for this. I just left a message about scheduling my own tubal. I am 28, and I have never ever wanted kids. I was insanely lucky, my doctor completely supported my decision. So does my husband (or we wouldn’t be married!) even my mother fully supports my decision.
    The bingos suck. I have stopped talking about it at work. I won’t say anything till its done. I am tired if defending my position.
    So again, thanks. And congrats on your lack of baby!!

    • Julie Was Here

      It occurs to me that this is the first time that I’ve been congratulated for not having a baby (although I have been congratulated for convincing a doctor to give me a tubal, as it’s not always an easy feat.) It’s refreshing!
      I’m happy that you had a supportive doctor. The OBs that I saw were mostly supportive, even if the first one was hesitant. I’m also happy that your family is supportive. You mad a good point about your husband’s support for you decision “(or we wouldn’t be married!)” When I first saw the first OB/GYN, he asked me that old bingo, “what if you meet the right guy?” If he wants kids, he’s not the right guy.
      Anyway, I wish you a good experience with your tubal. May your surgery be easy and complication free and may you recover quickly. I assume that you’ve gone the surgical rout as you said “tubal.” Make sure to take about a week off work for recovery if you’re getting laproscopic surgery as the air bubble in your abdomen will make it difficult for you to move comfortably and might cause you be short of breath easily as it puts pressure on your diaphragm. At least, that was my experience.
      If you can, write about your experience. Talk about it. Tubal ligation stories are mostly written by the minority of women who do not have good experiences and/or regret their decision, and these anecdotes both scare women away from the procedure and make doctors reluctant to provide it. It’s therefor important to dilute that effect by writing of positive experiences.

  4. Congratulations!! I had a tubal this past July after just turning 33. I also never wanted kids but just now had the means for the surgery. I count the surgery among the 3 best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. Wishing you a speedy recovery and happy Childfreedom :)

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